How to Fight back when Life knocks you down!


The truth is we all experience negative setbacks and failure in life. It’s not what happens in life that matters, what matters is how you react to life circumstances. So what do you do when life hits you with the unexpected?

What do you do when the person you’ve trusted the most in your business runs off with your intellectual property and makes it their own?

What do you do when the person you’ve loved with all your heart, cheats behind your back?

What do you do when you’ve lost that job and don’t know how you will survive?

My recommendation is that you approach your specific situation with a different lens.

Please know, that I completely understand what you are going through. And trust me, I get it, this setback or failure can be so painful that it basically paralyzes you.

So what do you do?

Start by focusing on your self-respect. Double down and safeguard your self-respect. You’ve just been duped so self-respect is a high-priority and your mission. Please remember that during these raw, critical moments how you fuel your mind and body is critical to your success.

Life is unpredictable and you have to be prepared. Internalize the negative setback by shifting to a positive stance. By safeguarding your self-respect, you honor what has happened.

This setback or failure does not define you. Moreover, it is not an indication of who you are, what you are worth, and what you stand for. And yes, depending on your situation, it will be painful.

Self-respect allows you to feel the painful emotions associated with this situation. If you are mourning the loss of a loved one because they’ve betrayed you, the pain will feel unbearable. I want you to know that it’s a beautiful thing to feel pain. It’s part of life, so feel the pain, don’t suppress it.

If you’ve experienced a major setback in your business, acknowledge and stay committed.

You are a beautiful human being with so much to offer. Honor your emotions, heal and reinforce your self-respect. Give yourself the self-respect you deserve by paying close attention to what you need.

Cultivate self-respect by reminding yourself who you are, what you stand for, and what you value. A lot of people self-destruct because they haven’t taken the time to clarify their values. A lack of core values or principles will not empower you to establish clear boundaries in life.

So what are your core values? What principles guide you so you can strengthen your character and develop resiliency to life’s circumstances?

As you build your self-respect be on the offensive and not the defensive. In other words, be adaptive and have the mental agility to embrace the chaos.

As you cultivate your self-respect be mindful of the negativity. Negativity can keep you stagnant because you are stressed out and possibly overthinking. This negativity, if uncontrolled can steal your joy and will manifest in a defensive posture.

Don’t get defensive, and even though you are a warrior, ONLY strike when necessary. Stay in the fight by establishing self-respect through self-care rituals. These rituals will help you structure wellness habits that will reinforce your self-respect so you can bounce back unscathed.


Accept responsibility for what has happened to you. According to Dr. Stephen Covey, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  Don’t make assumptions about what is happening to you. Don’t judge the person, hardship or situation; rather, you must develop a strong desire to understand.

So keep digging and find the lesson. Accepting responsibility enables us to take control of the situation. By taking control, you understand that life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you!

In my opinion, this is a detrimental factor that is affecting people all over the world. People do not accept responsibility. Don’t fight what you can’t control. Your reaction in accepting responsibility and seeking the lesson is far greater than the disappointment. So look for the gold!

Seek the lesson and it will arm you with a broader perspective. Be a warrior and not a worrier and use fierce focus to seek the lesson, and adapt to change constantly. Adapting to change will help you override any discomfort you may be experiencing.

My recommendation is that you do the following immediately. Plan now and be prepared for future difficulties and disappointments. Destiny favors the prepared, so get comfortable with uncomfortable situations, people and circumstances. This will help you in your personal relationships and business.

Change your perspective on how you view failure. Failure is the best teacher in life and there is no shame in what you’ve experienced so keep your head up.

Failure is a necessary component of growth, because it will make things so much better. Seek to learn what didn’t work and move forward. Accepting responsibility is learning to expect more setbacks and failure. Ignoring responsibility disrupts momentum, and stifles your resiliency. Which will you choose?


As you acquire a new perspective for what has happened, seize personal growth. Learn how successful people bounce back from failure. What coping mechanisms can you add that will help you build mental, physical and emotional toughness?

How can you stay in the fight so you can bounce back with confidence and clarity? How do you eliminate self-limiting beliefs so you don’t repeat destructive patterns?

The best weapon you can add to your arsenal is the weapon of personal growth. Personal growth is achieved by mastering your mindset. Mental toughness gives you the core skills for dealing with personal relationships, leading in business, and maintaining a calm demeanor.

Personal growth is on-going training and you must self-analyze where you stand. Self-analyzing your personal growth is essential to improvement. This will also help you to develop creative thinking skills so what are you waiting for? Become a student of life and invest in yourself. 

Seeking personal growth will help you sharpen your sword. Sharpen your sword by educating yourself. Go to seminars, get a coach, or learn something new. When you learn something new, you forge new pathways in your brain and you arm yourself with flexibility.

As a woman entrepreneur and as a warrior, you gain a positional advantage.

Be prepared, SMILE, and bounce back by understanding your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Invest in someone who will teach you how to take your life and business to the next level.


Avoid complacency and defeat! Surround yourself with empowering people. Like-minded people who genuinely love you and support you unconditionally. Genuine people will fill up your love tank and strengthen your temperament to help you cope with uncertainty. And when your love tank is FULL you will have the flexibility of mind to deal with toxic people and disorderly situations.

So what must you do?

Choose your community, friends, and the people you expose yourself to wisely. Don’t become a negative Nancy, choose to become a supercharged Sandy. 

Your self-respect coupled with personal growth and empowerment will give you a willingness to act with boldness. You won’t become a victim of life’s circumstances, you will become a victor. As you experience setbacks, you will build moral courage because people are watching you. You are influencing somebody every step of the way.  

And let me be real, depending on your situation or circumstance, sometimes we have to fight back (literally and figuratively speaking). When this happens, proceed by understanding your enemy’s thought processes so you can single out his weaknesses. In business, this can also be your competitor.

Understand his weaknesses so you can set him up for defeat. Unfortunately, not everybody thinks like you or has your same values. This is why you’ve been betrayed because someone took advantage of the beautiful things you had to offer.

Empowering people are strong people that understand their spirituality is their superior strength.

When you empower yourself with loving individuals, you gain clarity in disrupting unnecessary mental chatter. This loving community, can help you overcome an indecision when you are psychologically impacted. They will love you, support, and heal you from within. Community is everything so surround yourself with people who elevate your worth not degrade your standards.


Solve the problem and be decisive with your next move. Successful decisions lead to great gains in life; whereas, failure can lead to dreadful losses. But don’t be afraid and don’t let this stop you. Become one with failure and understand that failure leaves clues.

My recommendation is that you display an irresistible bias for action.

What do I mean by this? Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Commit to your decisions and step outside your comfort zone. Taking action should be your default state of mind. You solve the problem by making a decision and moving forward.

When dealing with personal issues or business conflict, hone in on your mental toughness and choose assertiveness over aggressiveness. Assertiveness will help you focus on the cure, not the disease.

As a warrior, you are responsible for the energy and atmosphere you create and it starts with yourself. Master yourself through mental toughness and be assertive. Ambitious leaders expect more setbacks and failures in life. 

Take bigger chances on yourself, solve the problem by learning something new. If you are not learning something new, you are falling behind.

One of the best ways to solve any problem, is to lead by example. Show people what needs to happen by leading your life and business the right way. Live and lead with integrity. Be courageous and be willing to set the example despite conflict, setbacks or failure.

Wanna learn more? Click here and get my free guide on tips that will help you transform your self-confidence.


Comments 2

  1. brilliant! such powerful words.. you hit it by mentioning the word “raw” as there is no better word to describe the pain felt .. thank you for such encouraging words of wisdom!

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