5 STEPS TO DEVELOPING MENTAL TOUGHNESS

1. SURVIVE AN ORDEAL

Mental toughness is the ability to stay resilient when you are trying to achieve or overcome something difficult in life. It’s having “grit” and being able to persevere despite pain, pressure and distraction.

Mental toughness can help you emerge from difficult circumstances and never lose hope or self-confidence.

“It’s a mental state that helps you develop hardiness so you can survive an ordeal.”

Make no mistake, life will eventually challenge you and we will face difficult moments in life.

  • When this happens what will you do?
  • Will you be prepared?
  • Will you have the weapons in your arsenal to fight back?

Or will this traumatizing ordeal scar you for life?

Surviving an ordeal is being able to handle a business that is falling apart or enduring turmoil in a personal relationship these are some examples and there are so many more.

How and if you survive will help you develop mental toughness.

I hate to break it to you but it is inevitable and in life you will eventually face hardship.

And facing hardship is learning to face tough challenges that can affect us in so many ways.

They can physically, mentally and emotionally cripple you when you least expect it.

And depending on the circumstance it can zap your motivation and willingness to stay positive or persevere.

But that is why you are here.

“It’s my goal to help you become a victor and not a victim of life’s circumstances so be prepared, plan accordingly, and keep reading!”

Regardless, of what may happen to you, please know that it’s not going to be easy. It’s not my goal to frighten you but to make you well aware of how hard life can hit you when you least expect it.

My recommendation is that you redirect your focus on developing your self-confidence through resiliency now.

I’ve had many difficult challenges as a Marine who endured 20 years of military service. But today, I would like to share a monetary setback that left me hopeless, disgruntled and in despair.

In 2013, I had to short-sale my retirement home. It was a painful experience because we had easily invested over $150k into our home. And on a military budget, that was a ton of money!

The individual I was married to at that time, and I had saved for years because we knew one day we would invest our savings into our retirement home. After all, it was going to be our retirement home and the investment we made in 2006 was a no brainer.

After the mortgage crisis of 2007, our home depreciated and we lost over $200k in value.

It was disheartening to know that within a year our home had lost all the money we had previously invested.

So what did I do? I kept making the mortgage payment because I have always done the right thing. I figured that if I kept making the payment the house would eventually build equity.

  • I couldn’t give up
  • I couldn’t lose hope
  • I had to remain optimistic

2. STRENGTHEN YOUR RESILIENCE

So what do you do when something catastrophic happens? You strengthen your resilience by looking at your situation with a different perspective. People who are positive about what is happening to them, don’t give up, and have a habit of looking at their situation differently. 

They stretch themselves (figuratively and literally speaking), and know they have to strengthen internal and external muscles that will help them develop resiliency.  

They think, “Damn, this is difficult, but this too shall pass.” 

“They interpret their situations differently.”

This ability to have a different perspective creates a flexible mindset which keeps them positive. And this ability to look at life with a flexible mindset helps them develop solutions and not stress-induced anxiety.

What about you?

Will you develop Stress or will you develop Solutions?

When you don’t strengthen your resilience you become vulnerable and stress permeates throughout your mind, body, and even affects your business. 

By strengthening your resilience you can focus on solutions to overcome the following:

  • emergencies
  • divorce
  • illness
  • natural disasters
  • death
  • financial problems 

Learning to strengthen your resiliency is further developed by knowing how to nurture yourself.

Nurture yourself by developing rituals that enhance your self-care is an essential part of strengthening your resilience.

Having healthy habits in place will undoubtedly make you stronger and this strength will help you embrace difficult changes in life. Moreover, it will give you the ability to cope and understand the lesson life is trying to teach you.

As a result, you will be able to interpret the discomfort or challenges you are facing in a positive light.

Rituals such as exercise, meditation, journaling, and learning how to shift your focus to gratitude will help you build resiliency. Furthermore, you will train yourself to see this as an obstacle and not as a problem.

And this is one of the advantages of working with me. Your perspective changes because you can smile, and view challenges as obstacles and not as problems. 

Looking at the glass “half-full vice half-empty,” was my only option regarding my house and the situation we were in. I figured if I waited long enough the housing market would bounce back and my home would eventually increase in value.

In order to develop your resiliency, “What is one way you can stretch yourself starting today?”

3. STRESS HAS BENEFITS

See your stress for what it is and don’t deny it. The more we ignore or evade the situation, the more it grows in our reality.

When I had to come to terms of losing my home and everything I had invested, I realized that I was stressed because I saw it as a big loss. Losing money and wonderful memories would only increase my stress and make the situation that much harder.

The emotional attachment made me stress out because I would lose all those precious memories and in the end there was no return on investment.

Once I truly acknowledged what was happening, I realized I needed to accept responsibility and choose another response.

I could channel stress to elicit a different response. A response that was creating more despair, or psychological stress. Or a response that would help me look at the obstacle with a fighter’s perspective. I chose the latter. 

Stress can help you boost your body and mind into better performance so you can grow and meet difficult challenges.

“It’s learning how to respond and grow during these stressful moments that will make you or break you.”

I soon realized that I would use this experience to get a bigger, and better house in the future. This was just a stepping stone and better things were in store for me.

4. SOCIAL SUPPORT

Mentally strong people have an army. An army comprised of genuine friends, and family who keep them in the fight.

They surround themselves with quality people who boost them up during times of adversity.  

Who is part of your tribe?

When the unexpected happens, surround yourself with people who will comfort you and fill up your love tank. Choose quality people because they will contribute in helping you make skillful choices.

Pay attention to your needs.

Not having a social support will make this process unbearable. You will not have a different perspective on how to perceive your situation.

You will not understand how this reinforces your emotional support. And depending on the circumstance you might need professional help.

You will undoubtedly need time to move through the pain. Will you want an army to support you or will you achieve this on your own?

Build your social support now, don’t wait until there is an emergency.

Be a warrior and love people unconditionally. Love your friends and family selflessly and treat them like royalty. When you need them the most they will support you without restriction and you will see who steps up, when you need them the most!

Your army will seek to find solutions with you. They will challenge you and ask you… 

“What can you improve about the situation?” 

“What positive impact can you make at this moment?”

As you analyze your situation take time to reflect the beautiful people who are there to save you. They will strengthen you, give you sexy confidence, and help you brainstorm solutions.

Furthermore, they will help you survive by showing you gratitude. Gratitude because they are in your life and you are not facing this setback alone.

They will help you survive the most difficult times in your life. 

5. STRONG PURPOSE & PERSPECTIVE

Do you have an intrinsic motivation to continue forging ahead?

Why or why not?

There is something that will keep you pressing forward even though you might be enduring pain. 

So what do you do?

You align yourself with your strong purpose. Purpose was allowing me to learn from this financial loss. My daughter’s are my purpose and they keep me strong, and I would not allow this setback to defeat me. 

When you have a strong purpose you have a reason to fight for something meaningful and work tirelessly to achieve a positive outcome. 

They have always been my driving force. They are my “WHY” and they are the reason why you are reading this now. 

Develop a strong purpose and a new perspective as you endure life’s challenging trials and tribulations. Create a new and meaningful life drawing from these tough experiences. Remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

It’s not about ignoring challenges, rather, it’s about fully experiencing them so you can become stronger. Move forward by seeking and strengthening your purpose. This will help you redefine a new perspective.

As you experience turmoil, go back to your purpose. Your strong purpose is your foundation.

When you don’t have a purpose you live a meaningless life, and you wonder what is missing. 

Not having a purpose can affect..

  • your self-esteem
  • your life
  • your business
  • your level of success

A strong purpose can give you a new perspective and can recreate your identity and help you heal and hope for more in life.

After the short-sale of my home, I became free and decided I would have something better in the future. This mindset of never giving up has channeled different aspects of my life in a profound way.

I decided I would learn from this and achieve greater accomplishments in the future.

There is nothing you can do to change the past so shift your focus to the present. The best way of developing strong purpose and perspective is to become a better version of yourself and honor your journey.

This is the time where you must become laser-focused on personal and professional growth.

Now, is the moment to build self-confidence so you can develop mental toughness in all areas of your life.

Wanna know more?

Reach out and let me know what your present struggle is. Let’s look at your specific situation and help you harness grit so you can develop hardiness in your life and business. What step stood out for you? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

In the meantime, make sure you grab my free guide that helps you develop self-confidence. Self-confidence is a prerequisite in helping you build mental toughness. Grab it here!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *